Time to hang it up,

put away my leather mini-skirts,

my spike heels, my black lycra,

the goofy girl sundresses,

the wicked makeup,

the bad attitude,

the pouty lips,

These things just don’t fit anymore.

Time for a mumu,

I wanna be a big Hawaiian/Mexican/Yiddishe mama

with big hugs, big food, big warmth.

No more worries about my god-forsaken

sex appeal.

Sorry, men/victims of the world,

I’m retiring.

Time for a mumu.