they tell me i was born
two months premature

the first of twins

they tell me it was difficult
my birth
i still can’t hear in one ear

i have an indentation in my chest
on the right side
where they had to run a tube
in me
to keep me alive

they tell me they kept Douglas alive
for three weeks
but he just couldn’t survive

i wonder what it would have been like
to have someone look just like me

we could switch places
fool everyone

we’d be inseparable

my family doesn’t talk about
him much
but sometimes
i still think of him

maybe with the medical world
today
he would be alive

sometimes i feel
like i’m not whole