I don’t like gasoline engines

They are hard to start

They come equipped with

Carburetors that are fussy

And you have to adjust

Using the choke

To get more fuel in

Then you have to dial back

The choke

Once the dumb engine

Is running

Be it a

Pump, a compressor, a snowblower

A chainsaw, an arrow board or a jumping jack

I had a laborer named Al

Who could get any engine to run

He was Mexican

I’m not fond of prostitutes either

Like four stroke

Or two stroke engines

They have issues

Number one, they lie

In Tijuana this broad

Strung me along

Saying the price was twelve dollars

Then she wanted extra for

A condom

The room

Plus something else I forgot

The crowd at the Manhattan Club

Cheered me as I came back

Downstairs five minutes after

I went up the stairs

Another time the girl said

I gypped her out of cabfare

And made a scene

At the Gran Hotel Sula

I have a recurring nightmare

About a gasoline engine

That is also a hooker

I get her started alright

But can’t shut her off

She keeps blabbing how

I cheated her somehow

And I wake up

Choking my microwave