I didn’t choose to become her.

Her wide mouth that laughs too loud

long hair around her neck

fingers for separating eggs

arms akimbo

I denied it.

Cut my hair.

Smoked a joint.

Vacationed alone.

I did not nap on the porch

did not marry early

did not rock me to sleep

But I am no one else’s wide laugh

no one else’s hair in a noose

no one else’s cradled hands

I made pecan pie

That everyone was too full to eat.

They ate it anyway.

I scolded us all.

I rocked us to sleep.

I didn’t choose to become her.

But I didn’t choose not to.