(Thoughts while looking into Claude Monet’s “Poplars on the Banks of the Epte, Sunset, 1891” at the Boston Museum of Art)
1.
When I am in LA,
This is how it will be: Night.
No stars out.
Only haze.
What smog becomes the hour
The sun sets—a black slip
Sliding off
A hanger
And resting at the knee
Of a pink horizon.
2.
When I am in LA,
This is how I will be: Drunk.
Cruising down
Palm-lined streets
With my three best girlfriends.
The trees shake like mad
Medusa
Heads and with the top down
So do ours. Someone says,
“Doesn’t it
Feel like we’re
In a movie?” We cringe,
Because now – it’s doesn’t.
3.
When I am in LA,
It will be: A bitch.
Auditions
Suck for us.
We are never ready
When they say ready. Now?
We could act,
Cry on cue,
Hold each other, and do.
After Cuervo shots,
We confess
All our dreams,
Some of us start kissing.
Shirt ribbons part, and there
Are headlights
Inside the car.
The tide rolls up the beach
We drive straight into it.
Our bodies
Arc over
The windshield like dolphins,
Sing and swim ‘til sunrise.
4.
When I am in LA,
It will be: Lonely.
I’ll get home
Before him,
Pace the empty rooms with
Cereal thundering
In my jaw.
I’ll study
Wedding portraits and wish
I’d said no. No to him.
No to LA.
Where the girls
Are so hot, they’ve turned me gay
And made him come home late.
5.
When I’m in LA,
This is how it will be: bright.
I won’t see
In the pink
Sunlight. I’ll be melting,
Melting, and he will be
Too busy
To notice,
Just like he is right now.
Stoned and slumped on the couch
Surrounded
By Coke cans
Watching the same movie
He’s seen a million times.
Even though
He knows how
It will end: Typical
Hollywood bullshit.